East Meets West
by Ellamenopea
Summary: Gilbert convinces Ludwig to go drinking with him, leaving Feliciano home alone with all the dangerous electronics in the house.


_'I can't believe I agreed to this...'_

Ludwig sat on a bar stool, glaring angrily at nothing in particular. As if the poor German's day hadn't been stressful enough, what with running around after Feliciano when his idiotic schemes went awry and arguing with other nations, he had, for some God-forsaken reason, agreed to go drinking with his older brother.

Gilbert had been trying desperately for months to convince Ludwig to leave the sanctuary of his house for a beer or ten. It's not that he didn't like a brew with Gilbert occasionally, but he didn't like the idea of leaving the Italian alone.

* * *

><p><em>"Luddy, go out with your brother, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time!"<em>

_"Nein... I should stay here and make sure you're alright..."_

_"Don't worry about me! I can take care of myself!"_

_"The idea of leaving you alone in the house seems more dangerous than jumping into a bathtub with a toaster."_

_"Well, that doesn't sound dangerous at all! What if someone likes eating while bathing?_"

* * *

><p>Ludwig glanced up at the clock. <em>'He's already ten minutes late...'<em>

Before he had time to fully process the thought, the door of the pub flew open. The once dim-lit room was flooded with blinding, white light. In the center, a human shadow stood with hands on hips, an almost Heavenly apparition. Everyone stared, dumbfounded.

"West!" The figure shouted loudly, completely disregarding the eardrums of other patrons. Still not moving from the doorway, he pointed at Ludwig and declared, "I'm here and awesome, as always!"

"Yes, I can see that, Gilbert... and hear it... so can everyone else." Ludwig cringed, slumping down and resting his head on his hand. This was going to be a very long night.

"I'm so freakin' excited you made it!" Gilbert exclaimed as he strided over to the stool next to his brother, taking a seat. "You don't have a beer in front of you yet? Bah! Lemme get you one!"

"No, Gilbert, really-"

"BAR SLAVE!" The white-haired man shouted, cutting off his embarrassed brother before he could protest.

"An awesome beer for me, and... a regular one for this guy!" He pointed to a very unimpressed Ludwig and cackled. The bewildered bar tender decapped two bottles of import beer and handed them to the siblings, afraid to argue with the odd-looking madman.

Gilbert and Ludwig tapped their bottles together with a clink and began to drink.

"So," Gilbert turned to his brother, smirking. "How is your _dearest_ Feli?"

"Don't say it that way." Ludwig snapped back, not taking his eyes off the rim of his bottle. "My relationship with Feliciano is strictly work related and-"

"Oh, you always say that!" He once again cut off his brother, infuriating him.

"I always say that because_ it's true_, Gilbert." The German sighed.

"I know how it really is. I have an awesome sixth sense for these things!" Gilbert took a large swig of his beer, before slamming the bottle down. "You see, whenever someone says they don't love someone, they mostly likely do!"

Ludwig paused for a moment, calculating his answer. "If I love Felaciano, then you must love Arthur."

"Arthur? The British guy? No way, man! I'm way too awesome for scones and tea!" Gilbert hollered, way louder than necessary. Everyone in the pub was now staring at the pair, both intrigued and annoyed by their loud bickering.

"But, if you say you don't love someone, it means you must, _ja_?" His brother asked, flicking a _'You Lose!'_ glance in his direction. Gilbert remained stunned, staying quiet for the longest period of time since he arrived.

"Oh." He said simply, gulping down what was left of his beverage and waved at the bar tender for another. Ludwig did the same.

"What else is news?" The younger brother asked, changing the subject from Gilbert's defeat.

"You know, just awesome stuff." Gilbert responded nonchalantly, taking a sip from his new, ice cold brew. It was delicious and the Prussian gave an _'mmm'_ of satisfaction. "What about you, West?"

"The same as you, I suppose," he responded, "except with less 'awesome' and more 'catering to Felaciano's immaturity'."

Gilbert laughed and suddenly hugged his brother. Ludwig gave a small yelp and tried to squirm away. He wasn't fond of hugs, but Gilbert had him in a tight grasp, so he relented and softly patted him on the back.

"I'm happy that you're happy!" Gilbert proclaimed, releasing Ludwig and raising his beer. "To awesomeness!"

"Ugh... to awesomeness..." Ludwig raised his beer with a mere pinch of the enthusiasm his brother had.

"So, West, are you drunk enough to admit that you love Feli?"

"I'll never be drunk enough to admit it!"

"Oh, so you _do_ love him, you just can't say so, drunk or sober!"

"That isn't what I meant and you know it, Gilbert!"

"Germany and Italy, sitting in a tree..."

"Shutup! Enough of your lies! What if there are spies in here?"

"Bahaha, brother, you take everything so seriously! Lighten up and be awesome for once!"

"Unfortunately, Gilbert, we can't all be as awesome as you." Ludwig responded sarcastically. Of course, his brother didn't pick up on the sarcasm and thanked him for the compliment.

_'I wonder how Feliciano is doing...'_ He pondered, turning to look at the clock. An hour had passed already.

"Why are you looking up at the time? Did Feli give you a curfew?" Gilbert chuckled, finishing off a second beer. Within moments, a third was in his hand.

"No, I just... I've been worrying since I got here... what if he really tries to get into the bathtub while holding a toaster..." Ludwig drifted off, all the possibilities flashing through his mind. Would Feliciano be dumb enough to plug it in? Only if he wanted toast... but, if he didn't, he would only ruin a toaster... Ludwig loved that toaster...

"What...? Toaster?" The Prussian stared at his younger brother. "I think you've had enough, brother. Time for you to go home! One and a half and you're already talking nonsense... how are we even related again? I'm clearly more awesome than you and-"

Ludwig glanced down at his beer - only half empty, he noted - and nodded, not having the will to argue anymore. He hadn't even realised he was talking out-loud, nor that Gilbert was in fact still droning on.

"- and that's why we need more garden gnomes at the house. Anyway, off you go! I'm sure Feli is waiting."

"Alright... then..." Ludwig blinked. _'And he thinks I'm talking nonsense?'_

"It was nice seeing you again, Gilbert. Don't get yourself into too much trouble on your way home."

"I won't! I'm too awesome!" Gilbert gave him a pat on the back as he hopped off his bar stool and made his way to the door. He turned and waved at his sibling, who eagerly waved back and started shouting about gay romance and accepting himself for who he is. Shaking his head, Ludwig left the bar and began to walk home.

_'Please let Feliciano be smart enough not to try that..._'

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at Ludwig's house, a certain Italian had stripped naked and was standing before the grand bathtub. He gave a soft <em>'veee'<em> and smiled brightly, toaster in hand.

"Ahh... toast in the bath! Only he could come up with such a great idea!"


End file.
